Tommy and Frends
by TrollficsGalore
Summary: This is a trollfic and a satire of itself. The narrator, characters, and story were all designed specifically to be laughed at. Do not take any of it seriously even in the slightest bit.


5 YEARS AFETR THE EVENTS OF ZERO'S ADVENTURE IN THE LAND

Tommy Vercetti was sitting in his house the Ocena View hotel, contemplating suicide when Ken Rosenburg called him with a mission so Tommy went. When he got there Ken was like "BIGAASS SPIDER!" Tommy saw the huge spider that was bigger than a car. He knew the only way to capture it was to use his powers.

Then the spider said he was a genie and said "/no kill me and I will grant you 3 bitches."

Tommy agreed and suddenly three bitches appeared from magic they were Beyonce, Samus, and Clood of Darkness from the Dissidia. Tommy's mouth strecthed upward in a smile and his eyes grew wide, then Ken said "Yep, its his rape face."

Then Tommy threwe a penny in the garbage and ken said "wtf did you do that for" Then tommy threw Ken in the garbage.

Tommy and his bitches went to the hotel the one at the bottom left corner of the east island yeah the one with the pool and the in pool bar. There he would reveal his secret powers that no one knew not even the game deigners.

IN A FAR AWAY PLACE

Neors favotite thing to do when he was bored was rub his balls on the ground. He could also walk with his balls, butr he wAs a virgin. Nero wanted to be cool like Dante but unfortunalty he was a shitty ripoff dat's hand got fucked probably from jerking off. Anyway he decided today to create a creature frined so he wouldnt have to be foreveralone.

He got a spark plug and putted it on a machine that was 10000 centimeters tall. The machine whirred and kinked and loud ear drum popping moiesse.

Then a guy walked in it was furry version of dante who was also undead like auron. His guns werent handguns they ere m16s and intead of ebony and ivory they were nigger and honky. His sword was fuck the fuck huge and had eyeballs ad brains on it.

THen he gad sex wuth /nero and Nero was no longer foreveralone or a virgin. He still wanted to make a friend tho and Furry Dante was SPAN LANG="hi-IN"ಠ/SPAN_SPAN LANG="hi-IN"ಠ/SPAN

With both there help, the machine finally made a friend it was Squall leonhart, except uh oh wut da fuq this? He eyes were tenticles and he could only speak in static like when he talked, static noises came out like as TV.

He said KKKKRRRRRZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTT Then he said And neroa nd were SPAN LANG="hi-IN"ಠ/SPAN_SPAN LANG="hi-IN"ಠ/SPAN

Of course Squall but well call him Tentall, was evil and not friendly. :( He used his gunblade to destory the machine and everything, his face was ====++_++==== Nero was scared shitless but was not, he attacked tenall but no defate.

Zorori was in this story because remember everythn went back to normal so hes alive now. He wAS attacked by the closet faggot Rick Perry who was a closet homo and dressed in pink cowboy outfit. Zorori was raped and Rick perry prayed 4 forgiveness for being gay and nothnig happen so he assumed forgave. O btw they were in Zorori's land. Right at the last second, Sora appear and save zorori from Rick Perry. Also there was a battle the menu said "Party Members have been switched" fiine they were useless anyway. :( But it said "Protect zorori anus from Rick's Penis." The battle was tough and no valotr form so yeah expect to die 10000000 times.

After Sora beat the level, an new world unlocked it was Vice City.

They went to Vice City and found a buncha haitians they shot Sora and Zorori for no god damn reason :( they said annoying obnoxious phrases in there jamaican accent they were so agonizingly rage inducing that Sora ans Zorori insatntly became more racist than the most racist person in the world hitler. They hated black people and jamaicans they were more racist thna KKK kentucky fried bitchin.

Meanwhile Tommy was trying t show off to his newly acquire bitches by doing cool tricks with hs bike he went off a ramp adn the camera went all awesome and sloe=n motion but he forgot his contorls and fisics suked LOLZ so he randomly fell off and smacked his balls on a pole than he fell on a demented haitain that was a mutaant like in the X men except it looked beyond messed up like a giant sack of meat demon. Then it said "I WANT HEER SCREEM!" In a demented voice Tommy wet his pants.

Sora save d tommy then said "Im sora." Like he always does.

Meanwhile at the place where is the porn studio which in this story is warner bros studios and Candy is actually the nurse there was pinkie and the brain and tommy Wiseau.

In space there was the fox Mcckloud just finished his misson the hardest one in the game harder than chuck norriss muscles. He went back to his room which had thousands of posters of gay guys including Dick perry. He jacked off to his pictures than sucked his own dick breaking his back in half in thhe prosess.

After he was done Dante not furry dante but the real one he came in and was in a speedo. He had 1000 didlos and vibrators of all sizes of the galaxy he shoved them all up Foxs ass than his own ass while jerking off. Then dante put on a strap-on even tho he already had a dick and buttfucked fox to death. Dante then stole all the gay posters and killed Fox. Right befre he threw fox out the window he realized "wait a second, he corpse could be a melee weapon." Then he used fox as a melee weapon.

Just then Zero showed up and danter was like "Yo wuttup my nigga?" They bro fisted.

Then Dnate and Zero went to Rababnaster from the final fantasy 12 the one that sucks. They found Vann who said I wanna be a air pirate. Zero and dante said sure they took him into a adark alley and raped him, They found A treausre chest that had 1 gill in ti excepte it was actually one didlo a giant one. They shoved it up Vaan ass and his asshole strtched so taht he could fit all the rebel gunships in his asshole and they did that.

After the rape i mean orgy, Dante and Vann and Zero putted on sunglaeess and were pimp struttin thru the rababastre with a hip hop mix of rabanastre theme and rationalwarrior was there making lyrics for the song. They wwere so boss nigga dat people stopped and stared and people in the shops dey got stuff for free even whebnn they had to it wasn;t unlocked yet

Then therre was a seeq he slapped his fat ass belly and ate all the children everyone was lol even the kid moms.

Then there was a cockatrice more a like a cock-and-dick anyway it started bitchin about all dis shit about needing pussy and the Vaan was like "Someboddy shut this nigga up. :(" Dante kicked the shhit out of it and it flew with its text box still open and landed on a old lady who died. Then dante zero the whole gang were like had another orgy right in the middle of the street then lovestruck man said "Omg I got a massive hard on for the viera."

Then vaan was like "who da fuck this furgfag?" Then lovestuck man said "Vieras no count as furry." Then everyone was XD.

Dey shit on his face and the fountain next to him because shit mountain and they jizzed a water hose of jizz in his face then when they left zero said "LOLZ Im gnna avoid finding the viera on purpose. :3"

Then they went to the Giza planes where dey found this one chick and dey fucked her till dantes dick was bigger than a shool bus. He said "Yo nigga s is bitch niggas boss nigga." Then he twirled around bitchslapping a slaven in the face wid his giant cock it fell to the ground. Then the camera i went all up in his face he said "Ubsander nooballus idnibb ibber nib i oughta bust my dick in yo ass."

He hobbled to he slaven and fuxked it annaly while Zero watched an jerked off Vaan was O_o

Then they found one of the vieras dey followed a trail of thme back to their village and when they got there they got a the birmecians from the ff 9 and freya and fran and they had a giant sex orgy of course. aftre that they got the drugs the marijuwanna the drugs that makethe frans high because you kno they always constantly high ands all vaan friends there too penelo and bachs and balther and ass and penelo. They all git high and did high shit,

The whole place burn becasue beeans and they left just in time with eic music and were "What we do nao?"

Meanwhile tommy decided it was time to show off he powers. His first power he snapped broke both his elbows and spun them like so he couls fly they were like helicopters. He could also fly billions of feet above the limit of the actually helis in the game. Zorri and Sora and the bitches were like "Wow das boss nigga." Not for Tmmy tho becuz pain.

Tommy used his power whilst flipping his legs around like a glitch like whne they the gmoddrs make they legs and shit flipp all over yeah. He did that to smack people in the head with his feet while flying and couls aerial attack but no enough beat haitains. :(

Sora said "what other powers?" And Tommy "No time we must beat the haitian by going to their nest in the that place in thet one mission where you blow it up and steal a van and haitain fight wit h the dey fight like cowards and the I call it the haitain nest becuz a shitload spawn there."

Tommy left his bitches behind and flew to the place with sora haing his legs which no flip around because SOra would fall.

Right before he whent over the satrfih island there was many a kill laser cumming from the ocean appparently it was Frieza! D: Then epic music played it was the a badass song but DBZ mix it was epic then Vegeta showed up with Super Saiyan 70 and the power armor the ulitimate armmor with 5000000+ defense he also jad a bigass sowrd and 10000000000000 guns and weapons he said to Freixza "Come at me bro."

Then freuza flew to him he fed her a blowpop but it wasnt your daddys blowpop it was a bomb which freuza head explode. Then Vegeta flu to the haitain nest and took a piss on it whch he his piss was lava and melted them. Finally no more haitains. Sora and Zorori who I frgt thaey both were not racist again.

Lovestruck man sad becuz everyone making fun of him and he no know why. He was a virgin and no talk to girl or leave fountain but now had to leave fountain because it became shit mountain and no one could handle the stink. Lovestuck man sat in his basement he was a nigger he join eharmony and try to get a date. He looked for the viere but no find her. After thinking about suicide he dicide he would become evil the most evil evil guy in all video games. He got his Keyhborad and whent.

Zero and Dnate and Vaan who I forget what they were doing so lets just make them in the Dantes shop. Dante was reading a JACKING off to womens clothing magazine and Zero drawing porn of the Moderkai and rigby. He then uploaded it and hacked google so when search regular show it the first result even when safe search strict.

Then Zero was totally :trollface: He whent turned on the TV to find his next victims.

Vaan was haeadbanging to imagery music. Meanwhile outside the shop there was Zigzag vs Vergil. It was epic battle wid epic music they satred each other down then fought an epic battle with epic music WHO WOOD WIN. (PS Half deemin wid sowrd vs half bengel tiger with no sorwd so yeah.)

VErgil compeetly obliterated Zigzag in one second like faster dan you could say "yiff in hell" get it because furry vs deemin. All her body parts flew everywhere like if you play those old ps1 games wheer is the polygons fly away when you kill something but these werent polygons dey were organs. Vergil said "Might control eberything nao go back to kichin." He then teleport away.

Vaan came out the shop and found her body parts put them in a pile and cast arise. She revived with full health and said "I'll join you on your jurney." Van was lolwut WHat juorney? And Dante zero came out dante said "We must stop Vegril before he do some more evil."

TO BE CONTUDED. :O 


End file.
